She’s always searching for time, but time is always hiding. Always. If I could give her any present, it would be a big batch of time. All the time in the world. And she wouldn’t have to do anything with it. She could put it on a shelf next to her knickknacks or maybe put it in the kitchen and she could rest a little easier knowing that the pantry is stocked full of time. Time by the case. Just in case. And she would wrap herself up in the present and sip her tea without thinking of anything but the steam and the flavor and the vinyl voices mumbling their songs from the speakers.
My aunt walks in without knocking and instantly she takes over the house. She's a walking megaphone. It isn't on purpose, either. She can't help it. She has a voice made for the sea.
My mom is playing a record from one of those folk artists who manages to whisper and mumble simultaneously, barely moving his mouth to pronounce his words, interrupted only by a harmonica that sounds like a wheezing donkey. After a gentle nudge from my mom, the poor record player nervously slips its needle, stuttering and scratching out a few lines before giving in to Ms. Megaphone and her steady stream of small talk.
I'm trying out a first-person fantasy story about sea-breathers. I've tried it in third-person and it feels bland. This is what I wrote in first-person but it doesn't seem to fit the genre. Any thoughts?